I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
