All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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