Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Randomize
