drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
