I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
