You're so nebulous sometimes
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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