It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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