I hate all girls vehemently.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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