i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
