You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize