my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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