I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
