tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
