I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
My bed smells like the plague
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