My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
