he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
