we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
