My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
