Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize