i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
