I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
