there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You ruined the universe
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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