Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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