Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
