I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
