Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
