we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
