Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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