Ambien. No doubt about it.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
