I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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