so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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