it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
