In the future we'll all be gay
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize