I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
