You really coming over, don't trick.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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