she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize