Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
