saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
