i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
