plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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