Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
