remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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