A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
