they said they heard you say put it in my butt
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
