I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
