I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
