So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
