This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
