I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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