my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
