What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
