worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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