When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
