this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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