HIV tests are more positive than that guy
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I have aggressive nipples.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
